One of the challenges for “decency” and “kindness” online is that our social standards have long relied on communication overhead/friction.
Lots of information is “semi-public” — decades ago, hiring a private detective to track down a person’s private info would be exceptional.
Today a lot of information can be discovered instantaneously—and bad actors can easily mix very private info into the “easy to find” stuff.
Combine that with the ability to rally a global, realtime conversation around any topic—stuff that was very high-friction in the past.
We have to think hard and feel out not just what is legal and illegal, but what is reasonable, normal, acceptable, invasive, etc.